THE TRAGIC TRUTH ,

Monday, May 07, 2007

went coffee bean to meet amos and kelvin. waited for crystal to come to join me and amos for dinner. chatted with kelvin abt what i'm doing and stuffs. he commented that i changed alot. it's like they saw me grow up, from a small girl to now. ha. know them for like 6 years alrdy. been ages since i last saw kelvin okay! he has changed quite alot too. (: well, its really great to meet up with old friends and to catch up.

had jack's place with amos and ker. kelvin had to meet his gf so he didnt have dinner with us. jack's place was SUPER filling. had ribeye steak. shiokadoo! ha. i think it's really hard to find a bro like amos. though not blood related but he cares for me and ker just like a real brother. (: love to hang out with him. we can really talk about almost everything.

after dinner, rushed home to meet jadee. she brought her puppy over to make friends with my poopoo. haha. in the end, failed! lol. poopoo was way bigger sized then her puppy maltese. mum came back after a while and poor little poopoo got a scolding from mum cos he happily pee on the sofa. ya, den jadee left for home.

just hanged up the phone with my love. he was asking me to download depeche mode songs. so downloaded alr. so far, i only liked one of their songs. ha. all so emo. -.- now i know my dear likes emo songs. he sounded bored talking to me, but he claims he's not bored. i can feel it... maybe i'm thinking too much again.. he was busy with work i guess. (: i really want to tell him how much i love him but afraid if i show too much love, he'll take it for granted. ARGH! i am really going crazy okay! he's really the kind i've always wanted. all i've ever wanted to find in a guy, he has it. but tooo bad, he cant be mine always. =/ owells, i'll be happy enough that he holds a part in my memories if we break up. it wont last forever also so i'm all prepared for the worst.

okok. i gotta go bathe alrdy. my love might be calling me back. so i better go get my bath first

&' the tragic truth .

1:37 AM

just woke up, went viva yesterday for drinks with edmund, played dice and i kept laughing. madness! he was like tipsy and acting cute. haha. first time i see him so mad. didnt go M.O.S in the end. felt so dua-ed. but its okay la, at least i had my love to pei me. hehs. we were unexpectingly wearing the same color yesterday. haha. except that his was stripy. (: went for supper-breakfast(?) with him after viva. as usual, i din eat. den he sent me home, chatted on the phone till 6 den went to sleep.

today wont be able to see him. ): -pouts- meeting amos bro for dinner later. was suppose to meet wenwei for mj today but cancelled.

okay, i'm bored.. shall blog again ltr or smth.. ciaos~

&' the tragic truth .

4:01 PM

spent time with my love this morning 4am till like 11am. (: i just love it when i can spend so much time with him. if only i can like spend so much time with him like everyday. =/ sometimes i really hate it when we have to be like so distant in viva. i dont understand why.. even when i'm not working. the feeling sucks okay! maybe cos cannot let customers see la hor? guess i should really get used to it. maybe when i'm not working there already then we wont be this way. MAYBE. if he still stays so distant, i'll surely ask him and expect an acceptable answer. haha. even if it's not acceptable, i think i'll accept also lorr. =x i've decided to not be so sensitive. why should i get worked up when he gets close to girls or when girls get close to him? right? i shouldnt be this way. i should really put some trust in him. really should. if he wants to leave me or do anything behind my back den its up to him. this way i can see if he's true or not. no point controlling him or whatsoever cos i'm in no position to do so. so i've decided to just rest my mind and stop thinking too much.

owells, meeting ker and kervon for MJ! great. finally mj. cant wait! that ker is like taking years to come. -.-

meeting twinnie after mj to M.O.S. been ages since i last clubbed with her. wooh~ might be dropping by viva for drinks before heading to M.O.S. (:

okay, gtg. shall blog agn tmr. (: ta~

&' the tragic truth .

4:33 PM

sometimes i really wonder if you're true to me. i just cant seem to trust you totally. can you pls make me try to trust you? ya, i might think too much at times but its only because i love you. ):

well, poopoo got a grooming session this morning. now he's BOTAK! haha. so cute okay. so much more active now. will post up pics when mum is back with the cam. (:

slacked home the whole afternoon today. was supposed to go for training but i guess manager was busy,

owells, will blog again tonight or maybe tmr. bye!

&' the tragic truth .

6:35 PM

venn, carrie, jeralyn came over my place after viva yesterday. wanted to play mahjong but.... jeralyn din wan to so we just bitched about people. =x but its funny how me and my love can always bitch about people and things. i feel so connected with him. really connected. okay, enough about him. hehs. we girls said whatever we felt about each other since the day we know each other. i told them abt this thing which got me so worked up at viva yesterday. wah lau eh~ i was freaking pissed. "get your hands off my man". owells, we chatted about almost everything. played 5-10 and drank my whole bottle of bailey's. woke up with a freaking shitty hangover today. drank alot yesterday okay! i happened to get 2 customers to open martell. ha. oh ya, back to the topic. it was fun having them over at my place. (: i got a shocked when i found out carrie and jeralyn plays o2jam also! they play so much better den me okay! i was like S-H-O-C-K-E-D. their levels also all damn high alrdy. compared to mine. mine's only like 12? theirs are like 30 and above.. i better practice more. haha. so okay, they went back at 7 in the morning. would love them to come over more often so we can continue bitching again. ha.

got a dog today. super cute and miraculously obedient. never even hear it bark once. and totally different from queenie. bro decided to call it poopoo. haha. sounds like shit. haha. but cute name la hor? guess bro got it from the paris hilton's "pledge this" show. bought the dvd. the show is like so damn nice. should have called it gamsie instead. wanted to get a mini schnauzer but i guess not for now since i've already got this little cute one. i seriously dont know the breed. seems like a mixed but amazingly cute. mum's friend gave it to us cos she din have time for it since she already has like 3 dogs and she got it from another friend. so it's like we dont even know the age. but still quite young. maybe reaching one year old. so happy today! DOPE!

my little poopoo fell asleep in my arms and i took a pic of it. SO SO SO lovely. whole family loves it. mum never dared to carry a dog in her arms but this dog, she hugged it like mad. so lovable. awww~ totally looks like a stuff toy. i'm gonna dote on it like my own child. whooo~ love it.

my legs keep getting the numb feeling. so irritating. and i unknowingly got 3 blue blacks on my legs. so ugly pls! oh and i went for my check up today, doctor said everything's fine. (: great. i know i'm strong.

just finished talking to my love. it's funny why today i dont have the urge to see him. =x maybe cos i'm keeping myself busy with my dog. ha. no no, it's not that my dog's more important. this kind of things cannot compare one ma. haha. but obviously, i look forward to hearing his voice every second. might be staying home again tmr. means maybe wont be seeing him. MIGHT BE only~. but tmr's a friday. it's our outing day. well, see if he wants to come over to my place to fetch me anot lorr. LOL. i seriously need to save money. running out of cash already. -pouts-

well, think i gotta stop here for today. time for bed. tomorrow gotta bring little poopoo for grooming. will post pics of it tmr after grooming. (:

&' the tragic truth .

12:46 AM

just got up from my comfy bed. (: slept late yesterday, was supposed to go get my rest at 12 plus but my love called. hehs. called me out in a very cute way.

my love: "I dont know want to continue working or go out for tea.. "

me: "if go for tea, go with who?"

my love: "most probably jolin tsai or fann wong, must see they free anot."

me: "whatever?!~"

my love: "but jolin have to take hours to come."

me: (i joined in with his nonsense)" den fann wong leh? she in singapore ma."

my love: " i must call her manager to check out her schedule, she very busy these days."

me: " HAHA! den how? "

my love: " must see if somebody willing to go with me for tea anot lor."

me: " who?"

my love: "someone lor"

me: (wanted to end his nonsense and meet up with him)"i'm always willing to go for tea with you if you want.. hehs. "

my love: "okay, go get ready and come down."

me: " SO FAST?! you never even ask me if i want to go for tea anot... what if i said i very tired? "

my love: "at the most, i turn back and go home and drink tea on my own lor"

me: " haha. okay okay, i go get ready. "

**end of conversation.
oh my god, tell me he's the best! ha. i so wanted to see him and ta-duh~ without me knowing he came to look for me. it's like he could read me. so we met for tea and chatted till 2 den he went back home. talked abt lesbians and gays. haha. what a topic right? lol. and i asked him to say "my prawn mee got problem" in chinese. he laughed but din say! if he said it, it'll be even funnier. den he asked me some chim chinese riddle joke thing but i didnt understand. -.- well, seeing him makes my day! foooo~ totally in love~

alright. gotta join bro and bro's gf for mahjong online already. haha. bye!

&' the tragic truth .

4:35 PM

towning was dope today. though not much time for me to walk. had NYDC with my beloved twinnie. bitched and gossiped about people (as usual). i just love talking and crapping with her la pls! used to have so much fun when she was staying over at my place. laughing all the time.

cab-ed to 85 market to meet dad, bro and his gf for dad's dinner birthday celebration. though it wasnt a nice place to celebrate, we had fun eating. played guess the number to finish up the rice cos we were way too full to finish it. haha. bro gf's idea. really happy to see dad smile. told them some stupid riddle joke. SUPER funny okay! got it from twinnie. haha. try saying "my prawn mee got problem" in chinese. i laughed like mad okay!

well, after dinner, we headed home. time to cut dad's cake, sang bdae and blah blah.. den now i'm here doing nothing. ha. i'm gonna be a good girl today. gonna get myself some really good sleep.

i feel really weird not seeing my love for a day. madness! i better not be so sticky. but i really miss him! ): i better get used to not seeing him so often. it's starting to become a habit. hehs.

alright. time for my beauty sleep. super tired.

&' the tragic truth .

10:04 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
well, today's my dad's birthday. bringing him out for dinner later with bro. (:

i'm supposed to go get ready to meet twinnie like now? haha. but since this morning i had this urge to blog and let out my frustrations? i dont know myself either, is it counted frustrations? ha.

yesterday pei-ed my love in his car to rest cause he was like drunk. -.- i watched him sleep from 5am to 7am. Like how cool right? unexpectedly, i had the patience to wait for 2 bloody hours. so not me. ha. the power of love.

fuck, i hate soccer, betting. WHATEVER, i hate gambling now. fucking hurts me to see him so fuck damn worried and stressed up. he's always ALWAYS asking me dont worry. FUCK LAH, how to dont worry when i see you so freaking stressed. gosh. i hope all this will be better soon. pls! really hurts me to see him in this way.

well, thought abt our relationship yesterday while waiting for him to get up. you know what? i've decided to just stick with him, i dont care if he's married or whatsoever. yes, maybe some people might go around thinking or telling others i'm a slut, i come in between a marriage and am a so-called mistress or smth.. you think i give a damn? i really dont give a fuck damn about what people may think or say about me. i may be heartless to not think about what the wife will think, or can i say it's not that i really dont bother, is that i just love him THAT much. i know whats in store, but i really cant say much more. i've fallen, yes fallen deeply in love with him. (: i love him and thats it. PERIOD

gotta go rush and get ready before twinnie gets naggy again.

&' the tragic truth .

2:25 PM

trip to km8 cancelled. ): pouts. now i'm like super bored.. everybody's like telling me, go study go study. its a good thing la but now exam period = all my friends busy. sad la!

well, means no pictures will be up yet. maybe after tmr? meeting twinnie. lets just hope she will confirm meet me tmr. (: cant wait to go towning with her.

k la, i think i better go find things to do before i really go crazy staying home.
its all in the mind.

ciaos~

&' the tragic truth .

4:42 PM

went 97 (the C.A.N.TO kind-of place) with my love and a group of viva people yesterday. didnt even touch a sip of alcohol at all okay! i was so tempted but na-ah~ no alcohol for 2 weeks means 2 weeks! (i know i'm a good girl). haha. my love drank like crazy. he just happily drink and drink. but miraculously, he wasnt VERY drunk.

well, the songs there werent that good but my love and i had fun discriminating, criticising and gossiping abt people. ha. we saw people with those really 80s kind of hair and dressing. even the way people dance also makes us laugh like crazy. lol. its funny how people can just make a fool out of themselves. oh ya, there was this guy who was wearing some totally tight fitting short berms(totally OH MY GOD!). whats wrong with all these people?! haha. no sense of dressing. eeewww PLS! and ya, another funnier thing, on the stage was this he-she who was shaking his head like mad! bet that he-she's on ~~ecstasy~~. happily shaking her head like nobodys business. SO FUNNY OKAY! and if its a pretty he-she still okay. the he-she had a freaking MOUSTACHE! though i couldnt see clearly from far but i could see it's not those kind of short moustache but those totally OBVIOUS kind. -.- okay, i sound mean but it's normal right?

the rest of the group were happily dancing. i dont understand how they can enjoy the music also. ha. my love and i just kept sticking to each other. lol. one of those from our group told him that he very "xian mu(in chinese)" us. =x i was like "really?", then my love hugged me tighter den said "of course". HAHA. awww~ i felt so loved pls! the feeling was DOPE! finally our relationship doesnt seem in the dark anymore. YIPEE! but i still have to know what to do when i'm at work. obviously, i will. ha. so during work, we'll be like boss and staff. but i'm fine with it. cos as long as i know he's mine(though not totally) would be enough. he told me i caught his heart so i guess i need not worry anymore. sometimes i feel i really worry too much.

the songs there din really make me wanna move but at least they had some rnbs in between their technos, canto songs and trance. danced a little. but din have the "form" to. -.- obviously becos i din drink. technos bring back memories. and their technos were once my favourites when i was 12-13. [KER, REMEMBER VALVES? HAHA!]

okok. enough of the 97 stuff.
going KM8 with ker and clique for der's birthday tomorrow. pictures will soon be up. haven been taking pics this days. promise there'll be pics up real soon!

gtg get some rest already. if not tmr i cant get up in time. so ciaos~

gonna miss my love. ): -pouts-

&' the tragic truth .

2:56 AM